This is from about a year ago, posted to the mHB boards. I have recently been thinking about this and thought it relevant to share.

What attracts a trans person to Miss White Pickett Fence? Someone who is so obviously rooted in gender roles and “how life should be” and how in the WORLD do you expect her to grow to the point where she’ll accept trans in the bedroom, in the wider world or full time living?

She is the holy grail for the male bodied transperson.

“Miss White Pickett Fence” represents to us everything we are not and want to be: secure in her sense of self, well functioning in the world at large – in a word: Normal.

Yes, there’s that F’ing word again. It is the one thing we have most wanted in our lives – to be normal – like everyone else. We see “Miss White Pickett Fence” and think to ourselves, “That’s what I need, a normal relationship. If I could have that, than all the damn chattering in my head would go away.” We look at the relationship as what is missing in our lives – as the reason for why we are as we are. If we could have that, the world would be set right again.

And it works – for a while. We ride the high of being ‘normal’ – like everyone else. But soon the ride slows, the high fades and the chattering returns. We come to the realization that while it might have been what we wanted – it wasn’t what we needed.

And we look over at our beautiful, but painfully cisgendered partners and say to ourselves, “What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all?”