What would you like to be today?

It’s December first and that means a new monthly train ticket and a new opportunity for the conductor to play “Guess my gender” wherein they decide whether to punch my ticket as either male or female. I have discussed this here in the past – how I have been read as a man or (more often) a woman, but today was a first for me.

I hand the conductor my ticket today and he asks me “How would you like me to punch this? I’m not trying to be rude or disrespectful, I just don’t want to offend you.” It takes me a moment to reply: “Female is fine, thanks.” He punches my ticket and hands it back to me. “Just trying to be respectful. Have a good one.” – and he moves on the the next seat.

All totaled it was about twenty seconds of interaction – but it was an important twenty seconds to me. One of only a handful of times anyone has ever asked – as opposed to assuming – how I want to be gendered.

A rather nice start to the day.



  1. Posted December 3, 2010 at 12:51 am | Permalink

    I think it’s nice he asked. That’s awesome.

    However I do feel that I should say that it seems complete insanity to have gendered tickets. I clicked on the link to the previous post to see if that explained it , but nope, while I see the reasoning behind it it’s not really logical. You could still lend it to someone of the same (perceived) gender.

  2. Posted July 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    Gendered tickets? Seriously? I’ve never heard of that! That’s truly weird.

    I have to say it’s great that the conductor took the time to ask, and it obviously meant a lot to you. It would have taken a bit of courage, as he would have no idea what reaction he would get.

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  1. […] years. (If you are just tuning in, read: Riding the Long Island Railroad, Conductor Confusion, What would you like to be today?, She’s Back…)  Up until now, the main (i.e. only) reason has been to provided a tangible […]

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