What the hell did we just do?

When I got to sleep, Hilary had just gotten Washington, Oregon, and California – it was close but I had a modicum of faith in the citizens of the United States to see through Trump’s bullshit and do the right thing.  Tired, I turned off the TV and headed to bed.

I woke at 3:00am this morning, because the time change still has me messed up.  I made the mistake of looking at my phone to see the results – and my heart sank.  I’d like to say I was surprised, that the impossible had happened, but I just kind of stared at it.  We did it – we elected the nationalist, bigot, racist, misogynist, hate-monger – who creates his own reality – as our next president.

I shuffled back to bed where I tried to get back to sleep.  I spend the next hour tossing, turning, and staring at the clock before getting up (again) at 4:00am and putting on the TV to watch the aftermath still being reported live.  I check out Facebook feed and it is filled with post after post from the trans groups to which I belong.  Final posts from people who have left the group, posts from people going back into hiding out of fear of what is to come under a Trump administration, post from people desperate for someone not in the US to please take them in and protect them.  It was hard not to be upset reading then.

There were of course posts that encouraged us to remain strong, to not be defeated, to not disappear into the shadows, to be more vocal, to fight – and rationally this is the right attitude, but at 4:00am rationality is not where one heads first.

I know that nothing will happen or change in the immediate future.  However, once the now all republican political machine gets moving, it is anyone’s guess as to just what will happen, but no one is anticipating it to be good for the LGBT community… or women… or immigrants… or…  ::sighs::

So at 8:00am, five hours later, I start my day – much like any other Wednesday – but with an unshakable, pervasive looming sense of dread.


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