Category Archives: Venting


n.b.: This comes on the heels of yesterday’s generally upbeat post.  As such, this is not a refutation of that. I have bright spots of positivity, things where I look back as think, “That was a good day.”  They happen far too infrequently compensate for the overwhelming weight of the rest of my existence.  This […]

Regards to Captain Dunsel

McCoy: Dunsel? Who the blazes is Captain Dunsel? (cut to Chekov and Sulu, both expressing uncomfortable recognition of the reference) McCoy: What does it mean, Jim? (Kirk slowly exits the bridge without a word) McCoy: Spock? What does it mean? Spock: Dunsel, Doctor, is a term used by midshipmen at Starfleet Academy.  It refers to […]

So, I have this blog…

…which has not been shown love in over a year. I have things to say, thoughts to share – I’ve just been lazy about it. Maybe lazy isn’t the right word: unmotivated is a better one. I had lunch with a friend last week. She’s transitioning after many years of telling herself why she couldn’t […]

Worth a Thousand Words…

… that’s what is said about a picture. More telling than any narrative, a picture has the ability to lay bare the truth of it’s subject. Sometimes, that truth is more than we want to know or accept. I was kind of excited for our holiday party this evening. Enough so that I went and […]


I’ve not written in a while. It’s not for a lack of topics (I have a lot I want to write about) but more a matter of time and motivation. I have been insanely busy at work – and not in a good way. I don’t mind busy – I can even thrive on it […]

Post Sandy Thoughts

Hurricane Sandy has come and gone, leaving a mess in her wake.  Some were pummeled, others hardly effected.  At my home, this is the state of things at the moment: We are on our fifth day without power.  We lost it Monday at 3:45pm EDT.

Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson?

That is the sound of – inevitability… For some thirty-five years I have lived conscious of the fact that I am not that which I have been told I am. With the never-ending ‘noise in my head’, I have lived in opposition to what I can only describe as an ‘instinctual knowledge’ of what I […]

Just Another Day

Here it comes, another lonely day, playing the game. I’ll sail away on a voyage of no return to see if eternal life is meant to be and if I find the key to the eternal dream… I could find hundreds of lyrics and quotes to express my feelings and still it would only scratch […]

David and Goliath

I’ve been feeling a bit ‘vulnerable’ as of late with respect to my ‘needs’ with all of this trans stuff. Perhaps what I need most is to be recognized by (or recognizable to) other people. People see a me, make their assumptions (mostly incorrect in all likelihood) and I’m dropped in a box.

To Whom It May Concern

I realize that this is all a bit strange to you and perhaps even a bit silly at times. I assure you, it is nonetheless real – despite my inability to articulate it with any degree of accuracy. I have lost count of the number of different analogies I’ve used – all which fall far […]

Plain and Simple it Ain’t

The past year or so has been an interesting one. Not unlike Zarathustra coming down from his cave, it was time I once again join those from whom I had consciously separated myself years earlier. I wanted to both share whatever insights I might have gained and to learn from others. I wanted to (re)connect […]

And you may say to yourself, “My God, what have I done?”

We all have fears – things we do our best to avoid at all costs. Today I’d like to talk about one of mine. It’s the ‘T’ word. No, not Trans – I’m quite fine with that – the other ‘T’ word we all to common to our community. You’re gonna make me say it, […]

Quasi-Random Rambling

I’m not quite sure what this is: rant, vent, whinge, discussion topic… Whatever it is – ramble and all – I’m putting it out here: make of it what you will. I had an interesting session with my therapist this week. I show up there with nothing in specific to discuss and we always seem […]

Nowhere Revisited

Less dreary today, ergo less whinging. As I said, I needed to vent. Were I still seeing my therapist, she would have heard this and my purse would be $70 lighter. I much prefer sharing with a group of like minded individuals. It is only because I was able share and learn from the experiences […]

Welcome to Nowhere

A dreary day here in New York and I feel like whinging and I need to unload. This is long, it rambles and I’m not even sure that I have a point, but it’s how I’m feeling today and I refuse to edit it for content or length. I’ll understand if you haven’t the intestinal […]


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